I feel weird. Like I don't have a place right now. And it feels like I can't relate or talk to anyone on a level I'm seeking. I don't think I've ever opened up to anyone fully. Everyone just gets snippets here and there. i'm longing for that connection. I guess that's a reason why I want to have someone. He could be someone I could tell my deepest and darkest secrets that Ilve never told anyone. Life is hard.

Somethng in me has also clicked. I've decided I don't want to be fat anymore. It's going to take work, but I need to do this for myself and my health. I need to prove to myself that I'm able to face a challenge and complete it succesfully. I also don't want Type II diabetes.

So from now on, I'm keeping myself on the downlow. I'm not going to speak my mind as much because all it gets is ridicule and I'm dead tired of it. We'll see how everyone likes this me.