well i got into massachusettes college of pharmacy and health sciences
at least i know that i havea college to go to if not rutgers or usp

so after recently finding out that i am James Joyce, i am now starting to see things in a new light.

so my -late- but still good new years resolutions ::

¤ lose all this extra weight, and this includes
- changing my diet and exercising a LOT more
¤ become happer/ more CONFIDENT
¤ be more outgoing and dont care too much about what people think all the time
- all that did was just make me nervous and bring me down
¤ do more of the things i did but have not done in a long time
- PAINT on canvases
- DRAW
- try new things
- cook (healthy foods lol)
- practice a LOT more piano (i havent stopped, but i havent been playing or practicing as rigorously as i want to)
- JUST BECOME HEALTHIER OVERALL
¤ just try and talk to everyone i can
¤ forgive and resolve past problems
¤ and JUST HAVE FUN
- THIS IS MY SENIOR YEAR & ALL I WANT IS ONLY THE BEST!!!

so yeah this may be so informal, but there it is.

so yeah i got a redoctane ignition pad

time for an update... no?

well

i hate living here

i wish i could live by myself

school sucks

i hate being fat

i hate being stupid and that im not up to par w/ everyone else at school

i hate my family

i hate filipinos

i hate doing things for filipinos b/c you cant "not " say no; you get trapped

i hate the fact that i dont have anyone to talk to, like about serious stuff

i hate the fact that i feel like no one wants to listen to ME

hate being ME

i hate that i feel so alone...



yeah whatever...
happy new year

well, its official. today was the last BK meal of my life. yeah. daym you bk.

started working out and running again today. yeah. i need to get in shape, especially if i get casted in the musical.
im tired of being fat.

so the auditions went okay. yeah i dunno. i was like part of the first group to read. sooo yeah not so much time to prepare. and apparently the script was in the library for months now? no idea? yeah. oh well. i guess we'll have to wait.

so no more rock rock BK. farewell.

bonjour all the healthy foods and ways of eating that i learned in my foods and nutrition for wellness class that im taking right now. yeha crazy. and ive been going to bk. soooo ashamed. oh man. alrighty.

farewell all you staff. maybe we'll give you guys an xmas card.

"im sorry arteries. i know, i know, its okay. just hang in there until i lose all this extra poundage."

yoooo im workin' on my gunsss oh hahahaah

yeah so when i flex its gonna shoot someone and ill be like oh shoot sorry didnt mean to shoot you

haha yeah

lemme summarize this ::

i started lifting

AWWW

awwww
i so definately ♥ my friends!!!
nothin but loveee baby.


so let me tell you about it.
so this week has been sort of crappy. was bummed i couldnt go to ny to see rufus w/ chelle, andrea2000 (;D jk jk), and rach and gill.
plus the rain made it gloomy.
until today. :D
so they sort of barrage me after school, lol. we're in a circle. then they pull out a present. and theyre like here!
i really surprised, and am like what??? so they tell me to open it and i do. and i see a barnes and nobles bag! ahhh
so guess what is it? the want two cd. signed by rufus himself. oh hollllla.

THANK YOU [GIRLS] SOO MUCH.
youve made my week.
YOUVE MADE MY CHRISTMAS.
YOUVE MADE MY LIFE.

NOTHIN but LOVE bab-eh` ;D

using ImageReady is fuuuuun

yeah sooooo for a bit time now ive been wanting to be able to make my own animated gifs. and so i went online and searched to see what i needed to make them. unfortunately i didnt have any of those programs. and then only yesterday, i found that i did. it was in the "photoshp" folder. haha lets just say its not mine... sooo i found the imageready program. and its soo good. haha making animated gifs of ppl is great. its fun. really is. maybe ill put some on here. haha. with their consent first, of course.


heather!

yeah sooooooooo. yeah...

EARTHTONE

Earthtone
^^^CLICK.
GO AND LISTEN. they are really good. john, jonah, luis, and josh. mad good. i was a bit surprised. so GO. now. just do it. youll smile.

ghetto update

probably not another real one until winter break.

ughhhhhh. i cant wait for it.

i hate this right now, but im sure if i just keep on ill get through it.
^that refers to more than one thing.

:\

hey just wanted to say CONGRATS to H.FERN on getting her LICENSE!! yayyyyyy oh yeahh our crew has grown of age. lol

yeah so got Halo 2 yesterday. mad cool. except havent played a lot yet. this week is hectic. also heretic. haha yeah.

so yeah.

lets see.

tomorrow
eng test? no idea. gotta study/read anyway
chem stuff! outlines/problems due friday, and dont want to be doing that instead of studying
my 200 mots french composition is due tomorrow also, about le flim au revoir les enfants... ugh. have to finish that

friday
chem test yeah. boo.
eng test? i dunno. ugh.
my french examen revisions are due. shiiiit.

yeah it may not seem a lot but it realllly is. esp the chem stuff, and eng. cuz apparently we have to know all the characters, etc. from wifes tale... and since our class is small, we really didnt go over all of them.. hmm.

alright well wow its already 9.41. shit. okay bye all gotta get back.

hey alllll

help me lose weight!!! cuz i want to be a medium shirt size. yeah

i need to for health reasons too. blehh.

need to lose this gut and my susus! :P oh man. blehh.

i ♥ NY

i want to live thereee. so fast-paced, so much to do. it never stops. i loooove it.
ahhhhhh, manhattan.

i ♥ H&M
♫♪

NOO DRAFT

my one pic that i like

hey looks



ok

the pic looks a lil bad though cuz i dont feel like resizing and etc. etc.

"au revoir le livre! au revoir le papier! bonjour la tete!"

im lookin to buy a scanner...

le sigh.

i dont know where i am right now.

but i dont want it to be in this negative limbo.

how about patching things up? :/
i really sure would like that...

yo i hate it when people just ignore me. like i listen to them and all their shit and whatever and then when i have sumthin to say, they just ignore me. fuuukk that yo. im not sayin "i dont want to hear what you say" thats quite alright, but then to have them not listen to me, noooo. and then when i try to give them a "taste of what it feels like" they get an effin attitude. yeah. fukk that.

some people need to get a better attitude.
cuz its makin me not have a good attitude.

peaceOUT

p.s. i wanna see the grudge. yooooo yeah out today!

AHHHHH

yoooo right now this time is CRAZY

so much stuff to do

applications.

HOMEWORK.

trying to reach my goal.

yeah. everything is crazy.

i dont even know how im gettin through this stuff?

and i dont need all this attitude/angst from people ‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡‡. yeah.

whoa... rusher.

you ever get that feeling where youre just striving and striving to get things done, and that if you dont, youre screwed and everything feels like its gonna crash down on you? but then later you feel like everything is gonna be okay, like not to worry anymore, just get done whatever you can, and all the rest will come through? yeah thats how i feel right now, like. ugh. school tomorrow.

yeah so let me tell you how much i LOVE my bed and my nice and comfy comforter. cuz it issss. haha i love it when its cold and then you just get in bed and SLEEP. i heart sleeping. its sooo good. haha. im sure some of you can agree with me on that statement.

meh......

sorry for being down and shitty right now, but thats just the way i currently feel. i dunno. everything is weird. and i just dont know.


SATs tomorrow. i hate them. why should that test be accounted for for anything? efffff the SATs.

btw i reserved Halo 2 the regular edition or whatever. i dunt need that extra dvd stuff. yeah its only 5 bux, but 5 bux is 5 bux. ya kno? o well at least im gettin it. and i want to get Doom3 when that comes out tooo.

........

what happened to me?

i can never be who i want to be
im just too dumb, too fat, and too socially aware...

who am i?

no one can hear the silent screams...

sighh on

yo my life is boring. bleh.

right now i feel weird. like i dunno. like im just bored w/ everything.

im just bored w/ everything.

when will i get a car??? neeevvver. oh well. walking is sufficient. [at most times]