A Request

I can do this. I'm not giving up. I can do this.

If you're a stranger and just happened to come across my blog for some random chance, leave me a comment. Give me some encouragement. I'd really appreciate it.

You know when you get that feeling somehow everything is going to be okay?

Yeah. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this...

Poor car.

I'm sad. Oh well. Ilm planning to stay in boston for the summer anyway. I'm planning on getting a job or internship. I really need to do something with my life.

I'm also sad that I'm not as smart as other people. I have to struggle hardcore to get through things. I think I have a learning disabilty, but that's my opinion. Ugh.

At least it's the weekend and I can sort of relax a little. I still have to study hardcore for IPM lab and physio, as well as keep up on biochem and ceutics and hopefully finish my portfolio. Seriously. I just need to get that piece out of the way.

I also need to get freaking better already. Being sick sucks a lot. Everyone seems to be getting sick around here.

I also wish I could just play my violin whenever I want to but of course I chooe not to because I have to study instead.

Alright I have class. Goodbye.

I love being in the library all the time. It's great stuff. Oh, college, where would I be without you?

From the Library.

Coming at you from the library today. This picture is a bad representation of the "gun in mouth" pose.

I'm so overwhelmed and everything and I know I keep saying this but it's so true. But I can't keep complaining, I just need to do it. The only problem is that these things are hard.

Gah. And I'm just hungry all the time. I want sweeties.

And boys are stupid. Period.

2nd Week

It's Tuesday tomorrow already?!

The fun never ends.

Le Sigh

Getting through these days. It has only been a week and I feel so overwhelmed already. So many things to do. So many things to study for.

It is going to be worth it in the end.

That's all I keep telling myself. I just need to keep up on things.

But really though, I wish I could just get better already! I'm still sick! Ugh.

Ay Yi Yi

This semester is really the rate-determining step. There is so so so much to do. I should really be studying right now. Or organizing. Or reading. Or doing IPEP hw. I think I'm going to go hit up that IPEP hw... and have my Ramen noodles. Ugh.

Oh My God, this semester is going to suck. Big time.

There's so much stuff to do for IPEP and IPM, and then on top of that is all of our regular classes, pharmaceutics, biochem, and patho/physio. Ugh. Crazy stuff.

I fell asleep today in biochem and patho/physio. Hardcore. So I'm listening to lecture. Thank God for my lovely recorder.

Ugh. IPM lab sort of sucked. I feel so stupid for not knowing what you should tell a patient what NOT to take if they're taking Coumadin. After a good minute or two, I finally said the right answer. Aspirin. Obviously. Because it thins your blood, too. Ugh.

I need to work in a pharmacy. I hate that I never have and still haven't. Fudge.

I really, really hate being sick.

This is actually the first time in a long time that I've become sick. And it sucks. I was hacking up a lung all night, so I got little sleep, as well as all day, including in class and in the library. I cough so hard my whole body jerks. UGHHH. I need to see doctor... health center. I need some antibiotics.

Snow Day!

So because of the snow, we got a snow day today.
Awesome. Anyway, tomorrow will be the first day of classes now! Hoorah. It was freezing in my apartment all day until about an hour ago. The manager guy came up and checked out my heating because the guy above me said he wasn't getting any heat either. So manager guy turned up the heat. :)

I only have one class tomorrow at 11am. It's great because it's not too late or too early! Not like last semester, where I had Social Psych at 5pm!

I did some reading today. Biochemistry. There's already a lot to do. Don't you love this whole, read everything before you come to class, college lifestyle? Loves it. Not.

Anyway, I hope to do very well this semester. I know of some people that failed courses last semester and now they're in a bind... I feel really bad. For some, that means a whole year behind because now they have to wait to take the class over again which is only offered during the Fall semester. Isn't that a dumb system? Ugh.

I'm going to go read some more Biochem, and do some more drug cards. I'm already behind. Hoorah.

AND I'm going to take more random pictures of me and my friends because why not? They're good memories for the future.

Classes Start Tomorrow. I'm less than excited.

Break is officially over. Classes start tomorrow, and I will be soon gonzo. I'll be studying like crazy already. I already did some studying today! I need to keep on top of things though. On everything. I cannot fall behind.

Anyway, I'm done for the night. Spring 2008 semester has come. Hoorah.

Cleaning

Saturday is over already! Agh. Studying tomorrow... already! And organization. Sweet. Oh, there goes my life for another months. Not like I had one before anyway...

I need to get a job. Maybe I'll hit up the one over in Jamaica Plain, where Kristin works. She says they're always hiring. I need a job. Especially if I want to do my Community Rotation over the summer. Either way, I need a job for over the summer, since I'm most likely going to be staying here in Boston.

4.13.08. It's happening.

It's Not Fun When You're Sick

I'm sick. And it sucks. I've been sick since Wednesday. I've been taking Flu Relief meds. I want to be better by Monday. I hope I will be.

I got a scale today from Bed, Bath, and Beyond. One that gives a digital reading and has a "lifelong" lithium battery, so I won't have to worry about changing it anytime soon. I weighed myself and have lost like 12 pounds since I've been back here. I don't think that's good, but I have been exercising doing Slim in 6. But I also think that it is due to me being sick, too. Eh.

I don't want classes to start yet. I'm scared of lab. For real! I need to study those drugs hardcore.

Anyway, like my new song? I don't think I'm going to change it for a while. It's relaxing.

OH! Guess who found my video of the Rick and Steve theme song? Q. Allan Brocka! He posted it in his latest blog. He wrote in his entry:

Before the year ends, check out this awesome video of a violinist tackling the RICK & STEVE theme song. It makes me giggle.

Haha, so I was excited to see that! He also left me a comment on my myspace, which will never be deleted. Be jealous.

It can get lonely here.

Especially when all your friends are still at home. Or in Florida for the rest of the week. Oh well.

I did my grocery shopping yesterday. I ended up going twice because the first time I went I forgot to hit the bank and I also forgot to pick up a couple items. So yeah. I went twice. And boy was it hot. Same today! It's in the 60's! What the hell, it's freaking January in New England! Ack.

So last night I couldn't fall asleep. It took me a while but I probably ended up going to sleep at around 3 or 3:30am. I don't remember. I don't know why I couldn't fall asleep. I was in bed by like 12:15. I think it was because I was hungry... and I just couldn't stop thinking about things. I was thinking about everything. And I was hungry.

I started to do Slim in 6. Yesterday I only got through half of the workout because after those lunges, OH BOY my quads were shakey. I wanted to go on, but my legs wouldn't let me. So I stopped. I ended up doing it again this morning, and I did the whole thing. But for some of the exercises I had to do the modified in order to keep going. I've been trying to eat healthy. I got a salad kit. You know, the ones where you get the dressing and croûtons with it. What I really wanted though was just a bag of romaine lettuce and a bottle of dressing, for the simple fact that I definitely do not use all the dressing. I only need a little, which is good because the dressing is Fatty McFatFat (even though I did get the Caesar Light vinaigrette). So next time I go shopping, I'm only going to get bags of lettuce and a bottle of dressing, which should last me forever.

I bought a book today that I think I need. Another $35, used. I looked online but the prices were the same. And I figured, "since I'm here, might as well go get the used before they run out." So I did. I'm happy because it's in good condition, too.

I finally got new headphones, too.

Sony ones. I was so mad when the left earbud of my Philips just died. It's the wiring inside, because when it first went kaput, I tried to wiggle the wire and the sound was coming and going, but then after that, no more. That was during finals. I need to start fresh. The one earbud wasn't working for me. These better last long. I've read good reviews.

So anyway, the lunges KILLED me. I was hurting while walking down and up the stairs. Haha. And while walking outside, I was definitely walking slower than I usually do. Simply because a) it's hot out, b) my quads were hurting, and c) there was no rush for me to get anywhere.


Anywho...
This is it. It's going to happen.
4.13.08

Thursday Already?!

Last I remember is saying I wanted to go to Boston to celebrate the New Year. Haha. It's the 3rd already.

You know, there is one thing I love about my phone. I have that VCast Song ID which can identify any song. I absolutely love it. If a song plays and I like it, but have no idea what it is, I can break out my phone, and it'll tell me what it is. Every song that I have tried to identify has given me a result. I have yet to try and identify a song and it's given me no result. So that's one thing I love.

Anyhow, I'm finishing my laundry right now and watching Fat Camp on MTV. Oh man, I should go to Fat Camp dude.

byeeee

I'm So Hungry

Haha, this is a great start to the new year. I ate a yogurt and a bowl of fried rice today and an apple. And water and cranberry raspberry juice. That's it. I can feel the hunger in my tummy. I need to learn to love it.

Anyway, I finally did my laundry, so tomorrow I will have clean clothes. Laundry here is a two day process, since we hang dry the clothes instead of throwing them straight into the dryer. Then when they're dry tomorrow, we throw 'em in the dryer for ten minutes with some dryer sheets and it's done. That we we save energy.

At school though, it's just straight into the dryer. Two bucks for each machine is ridiculous, but I guess it's fine because my apartment building is FABULOUS. Except for the smells sometimes.

Anyhow, school is starting soon, and I need to start studying. I have a lab quiz to study for, as well as IPEP/IPM homework. I want to start reading physiology and pathophysiology as well. But those books are at my apartment right now.

God I feel so hungry. So I'm going to go grab some water to hinder it. Or some skim milk.

So Here It Is, Kids

Happy New Year, 2008.

This is it. This is the year I change my life.

I'm Putting my Foot Down

I'm going to make my goal of losing weight by my birthday. My 21st birthday.

I want to be at least a 34 waist and 170 lbs.
Unfortunately, I'm not going to tell you how much I have to lose to make that goal... haha.

But for real. That is my number one. I absolutely hate being fat. I really do.

I Still Don't Know

This was taken on Christmas Morning at St. Paul's Church in Burlington. This is where I saw Caitlin! We sang for the mass at 9am. It was early.

Anyhow, I'm still in a weird place right now. I don't know what to do. I made the call, but no answer. I don't know. Someone give me the answers.

I ran today, thinking the route I was taking was 2.5 miles both ways. However, the road is 2.5 miles long, not back and forth. So I ended up running 5 miles today in 40 minutes. I was thinking to myself, "oh my God I'm so out of shape! Why is this taking so long?!" And that's when I realized it was 2.5 miles one way. So yeah. I finally ran.

I don't want to start classes again yet. I haven't really touched my drug cards since I got home. I did more after finals in my apartment.

I'm so lost.

Emoagro? What does that even mean?

Why can't someone just give me all the answers - to life, to love, to health, to relationships, to friendships, to everything? I feel like everything would be so much easier... then again, I wouldn't grow at all and I'd probably end up stuck up, alone, and everyone hating me... Hmm.

But still, I just feel like "why can't things just be easier?" and "Why is life so hard?" These are the questions everyone is asking, and no one can answer it except for themselves. For truth.

I still need to fix things with a certain special someone. I need to do my part. I need to call my friends back. I need to get up on my drug cards. I need to go running. I just want to be happy. Isn't that what everyone wants? And I just want everyone else in my life to be happy as well. Because when they aren't happy, I surely am not...

I want to be successful at everything I do. To try my best, and if I don't succeed, it's not the end of the world - I would just have to get up on that horse and ride again towards the sun...

Thinking

Here I am at home for Christmas Break. Things haven't been spectacular yet, but things haven't been bad either.

It's just that I've been doing a lot of thinking. About life. It's weird. I'm at a weird place right now.

There are definitely some areas in life where I am not completely experienced. I haven't experienced love yet. Relationships are a whole different world to me.

That leads me to say that I have some things to think about. Hence this entry.

Sigh...

standstill traffic.

I hate finals. I feel like crap right now and of course I'm studying because I have 4 finals to study for. It kind of really sucks.

As you can see I'm drinking some energy drinks. First of the semester. I also have some yummy Stop & Shop brand graham crackers covered in chocolate. Yes bitch.

But anyway I have my Pharmaceutics final exam tomorrow and right now studying is going shitty. And then tomorrow it's studying most of the night (probably 3 or 4 am again) to study for this patho exam I'm (hopefully) not going to fail. Ugh.

I miss AIM. I haven't been online since last week. Someone send me encouraging texts or voicemails if I don't answer.

Thankssss.....
shoot me.