Stressed Already

I'm already stressed a lot. And to date we've only had two weeks of school so far. Yikes! There's just so much material for each course. I have a quiz and an exam on Monday and another exam on Wednesday. Ugh.

Biochemistry.
Human Physiology/Pathophysiology.
Pharmaceutics + Lab.
IPEP. ugh.

The books and I are going to be very good buddies.

Here's to You

Here's to you, my imaginary reader. I thank you for listening to my ranting, my life stories, reveling in every little detail of what I have to offer.

Here's to you, as I sit here in my apartment, table scattered with books and paper, ready to be devoured by my eyes and mind.

Here's to you. I live my life as it comes, doing what needs to be done. No more screwing around. It's time to become an adult, and I thank you, imaginary reader, for being here all the way through, in the past, the present, and the upcoming future.

Here's to you.

Mondays

They're the worst day in the week for me. I have class from 9-4 straight. It's fun stuff. Oh, so fun.

And now I'm trying to eat but I feel sick. Meh.



I have a new mantra. Er, not a mantra. Actually, I don't really know what a mantra is... (dictionary.com)... okay, not a mantra. But one of those, "I'm going to live by" thingies. So here it is. I'm going to stop trying. Not really stop trying in life. I just mean, like, if people don't want to deal with me, that's fine. They can go off in their merry way, and part we will go. Otherwise, I'm just going to live my life day to day, accepting those who want to have me as a part of their life. I don't want to be one of those people that pointlessly try and try with no response on the other end. It's tiring and is something I just don't want to deal with anymore.

So. There you have it.

The Postal Service cover - Such Great Heights

I found this today and fell in love.

Studying and a Haircut

So all I've been trying to do so far this weekend is study. It's getting there. But it's already Saturday night. And I have nothing else on my plate except study. Because everyone else is out of town. And yes that's my 30 dollar haircut that I got. It was the first time I ever had the "wash and cut" dealy. I thought my hair looked fab in this picture, even though I'm not smiling or have my eyes open.

I thought this was a cool picture that I took. It's sort of artsy.


Now that I look at it, I feel like it should be up in a middle school somewhere, with a witty educational slogan.

And this is me, when I'm trying to study. Sleeping is my passion.

I Guess After All This Time Thinking

... that I wasn't, I am. I'm still a loner. It's weird. I don't know what to say. How to interpret what I'm thinking.

Someone should talk to me about this. But not feel awkward, or obligated.

Oh I know, a therapist?

Hah. But who has the money for them?

Yesterday was that Tequila Rain "Welcome Back Social."
It was okay. I didn't drink or anything. I had lab this morning at 8. So ended up leaving there mad early. Even though there were a BUNCH of people there, I still felt sort of alone. I guess I don't fit in with those people. It was basically all the frats who were there, drunken, and all the freshman future wanna-bes. I was with some cool people, but the people who I really wanted to be with were a) MIA or b) unable to hang b/c of other duties. I feel that our friendships may not last long anymore. Everyone has a busy schedule. And I might as well just let them steamroll ahead while I go at my own lost and unaware pace.

And in other aspects of life, I'm confused about as well. Mer.

LIFE..

Shouldn't I be really happy? I have my own place, I'm living in Boston for Christs sake.

Maybe I'm looking too much into this stuff.

It's only the beginning of the semester. Let's see how things roll out.

Confused. and Having a Good Cry.

You know, having a good cry where you just let out everything is good for you. Who cares if you're a guy, girl, gay, or straight. Crying helps when you can't do anything else.

I wanted to put this 2 days ago, but didn't have time.Can you see the old man? This is from my bathroom window. It's the dumpsters for Back Bay Manor. It's an old Asian man collecting cans and bottles. I don't know how I feel about it.


I just took this. I don't understand how someone can like me, but someone does. I'm so confused. God, my self-esteem is low. I'm so fat.

Crying helps. Letting go that hard exterior helps. Whatever.

Because, somedays aren't yours at all.

Mer.

Mer... It's only Tuesday. At least tomorrow is hump day... I will write more later... I promise. :/

C'est Moi

Me, being a good boy, studying/reading in my bathroom.

AWESOME. Ridiculously happy.

So I'm sitting in my apartment, with mostly everything unpacked. My family is still here.

But now I have to deal with all this business:
getting internet
getting cable
finance junk
verifying information
ordering more checks
etc.etc.

Because right now I am stealing someone's internet. And as I type, I am going over all this stuff I need to do.

"Liberty Mutual. RESPONSIBILITY."

It's Official

I am leaving very soon.
I cannot wait.

I'm not looking forward to any traffic or whatnot.
I hope everyone moved in earlier instead of when I get there. I hope.

Laters.

Going to Sleep...

So I am quite literally sitting on my floor typing this on my laptop, ready to sleep. I disassembled my bed, so tonight I am sleeping on my floor. Everything is not quite packed up yet, but tomorrow is the last chance, so I'll have to finish everything. We are also getting the U-Haul tomorrow, so then I can pack that up and all. I am really sleepy. I am just typing this with my eyes closed b/c I am about to be knocked out. Well good night.

BTW I want to see that Rob Zombie remake of Halloween. Even though the 1st and original is probably the best and can never be outshone.

MM HMM girlfriend.

HOORAH!

Today was my last day of work at the Q!!! And I was so happy earlier.

However, right now, I'm feeling sick to my stomach. So I'm not really packing like I should be. Instead I'm going to lay down and watch the Science of Sleep.

Anyways I don't have anything else to write for now. My stomach is making my head hurt. Ugh. I feel like I'm going to throw up.

And this obviously isn't me. But this is what my situation is. Haha. And the guy is cute.

My Last Day is Tomorrow!

THANK THE LORD!

My last day at Quiznos Sub is tomorrow! Too bad I'm working from 8-4. So it sucks because it's all day. And I have to work with this new girl... she's... alright. EH. I'll keep my opinions to myself. But anyway, everyone good for the morning crew is leaving. So I don't know how it's going to go down next week when none of us are there. Whatevs.

Well anyway, I should get ready for bed. I actually need to wake up early tomorrow. FUN. I leave you with a picture from me and Heather's short trip to Boston, with the Wilks brothers. How cute, huh?

1 More Down, 2 More to Go!

YES! I only have two more days of work left! And I am so stoked! And thankfully I'll be working mornings! Because I absolutely hate doing closing. It's not that bad, it's just BORING.

I should be packing already. But I need to get boxes and such... I need to put everything in the living room so I know what I'm bringing and see how much I'll be bringing exactly. I CANNOT WAIT. I am too excited.

So anyway, last night I went to see off Gretchen because she went off to Stockton today! I went after work, when everyone was gone already. It was after 10 so it was just me and her fam fam. We only got one picture today on her real camera because all of theirs died! I guess from going crazy earlier... its understandable. So we cell phoned it. Haha. So here's one of me and her. We ate pizza, knocked off some pre-college jitters, and hugged and reminisced. She'll do fine. She has nothing to worry about. :)


And earlier today, I went to help Heather pack and move stuff into her car. She left later, after I left for work. I brought her Ben & Jerry's and we ate and chat, and we also reminisced. Then I helped her pack and all that jazz. More hugs, and promises, promises. Good luck wishes and whatnot.

I Apologize...

...For yesterday's entry. It's my way of venting. But I was pissed off yesterday.

And I'd like to point out another thing - later on, it's like nothing happened. I hate that. There's no resolution or anything. It's like the ending of the book was cut off and we're left with a pile of problems that just stack up. Whatever, good for you those who got that metaphor thing ish.


Anyway, it's another entry about my impatience to move in! Here's a sneak pic. It's the view of my kitchen from the other side, by the window. Where I'm standing is where my bar table will go. And that's Heather standing in the doorway. The current tenant is still living there, hence all the stuff.








This is my shelving unit that I got at Ikea. It's made by Enetri. The metal part I got is silver, and the boards are white.

This is the chest of drawers that I also got form Ikea. It's made by Hemnes. Except that they're not selling it anymore. Good thing I got it when it was on sale

(which is why they put it on sale). Haha.

This is the bar table I got, made by Bjorkudden. It's pretty sweet. And tall/high. Which is what I like. It's going to go in my kitchen.

And to accompany my pretty table, I got two of these stools made by Anssi. I cannot freaking wait to move in!!! Less than a week...

I Love How Things Go Sour In a Matter of Seconds

I haaaaaate this place! I need to be gone now! Another week is going to take forever, and I don't know how long I can stand fighting with everyone in this effing house! UGH.

FUCKFUCKFUCK.

I'm just so mad right now.
Don't worry, I'll down in a bit.

But right now, FUCK.
Fuck this place.

Sorry for the profanity.
It's better to vent it out on here than in other ways right?

FUCKFKCu;.

I don't know what to do today now.

Maybe I'll clean. And start packing.

WHOREBAG.

I have four more days of working left.
And I don't want to work.

Ugh.

Whatever.

I'm gone.

Maybe I'll go to Walmart or to Target or something.

Damnit I wish there was just a place I could go chill by myself, but unfortunately around here, there's no such thing.

At least I have a car for now.

FUkc;lakd.

Goodbye.

Feeling Better, However, I Don't Want to Go to WORK.

I'm working 4-close today. And I don't want to go. I just want to stay home and actually clean and pack. In the past ten minutes I've made more progress than I have in the past couple of days. Hah. Which means I'm on a roll! But oh well. I'm working at 4. I also don't want to go because of the guy I'm going to be working with. The other guy I'll be working with is cool. The other, not so much.

So look what I found on the outside of my window screen earlier. It was cool. I got some other shots, but this is the best one. I'm glad I got some shots because after I was all done and satisfied, it flew away.





I made a short vlog on youtube. Its basically me whining about going back to Boston already. Why can't it just be now? Sharon went back today. Other people are already back. My other friends are already back at school. Ugh. New Jersey is dunzo. I'm such a city boy.

Well I'm going to get back to cleaning... before I have to go back to work.

And the Boys Like Girls album is soo on heavy repeat right now. It's basically the only thing I've been listening to these past couple of days... besides Vanessa Carlton's Harmonium, which is also such a great album! Listen to both. It'll change your life.

Fuck This Shit

I fucking hate my brother.

He's going to end up hitting his kids.

Maybe that's harsh, but it may or may not be true. I don't know.


Right now I just wish I could close my eyes and when I opened them I was in my apartment, everything unpacked, all my furniture set up, all the business stuff done and setup, and no one else but me. I wish I was in Boston right now. I wish I wish I wish I wish.

But where has wishing gotten anyone? No where. People can wish and pray all they want, but it's not going to help anymore than they want it to. All it does is give the person wishing or praying a sound mind for themselves. Reassurance and hope. Oh well. I don't believe in that.

Ugh fuck this shit, moving back is LONG fucking overdue.

You Know That End-of-Summer-Going-Back-to-School Feeling?

Yes, everyone, it is almost time for summer 2007 to come to a close. I move into my apartment on the 2nd of September and I simply cannot wait. I am literally itching to move in. For weeks it's all I can think about. Haha. I just want to go back to Boston and get away again. And this time, I'll be living by myself.

This is the Real World: Adrian.

Haha.

I have lots of stuff to bring, but am not quite prepared. I still have a week and several days before moving. So I still have to pack my clothes and other miscellaneous junk. All the stuff from Ikea is still in their respective boxes, unopened. I hope everything is okay. Now the task is transporting everything in this U-Haul that we will be renting. Oh joy.

On Thursday, Aug 16- Saturday Aug 18 I was in Boston with Heather. I loved it. We stayed with Matt. It was so awesome and nice of him to let us crash at his place. We had a lot of fun. I did not want to come back here. I really didn't. The city is my home. Again, can you see my anxiousness/impatient self coming through? I love Boston, that's my opinion, and I'm entitled to it.

I got the Boys Like Girls album the other day and I love it. I wish I could sing a little higher so I could sing that part in the Great Escape and Hero/Heroine. I can sing it, but not as loud. And I squeak. Doesn't sound as good as I'd like. Hah.

There are still two things looming over my head now. But I guess I'm only writing it here for my own purposes to look at later.
1. Look for another class because effing MCP decided to drop everyone and their mother from Health Care Management.
2. Apply for Pharm Tech Positions to work during the school year.
3. Complete MA Pharmacy Intern Registration when back in school.

Okay. Now that that's out of the way.

I feel that this year will be awesome.
Excellent even.

I feel like I've changed so much since I've been away at college and in the city. But changed for the better. Not that I wasn't bad or anything. I guess I mean I've improved on my character skills? I don't know. However, I still feel like I have a lot to experience and learn, so I also feel that I can still change.

And I'm in freaking Boston. I need to go out and meet guys and people. I mean, I'm starting to think I'm not that ugly. There are worse looking people out there than me, right? (Whatever helps you, man.) So I plan on meeting anyone and everyone. Be prepared.

I also finally bought the movie Dummy. I simply LOVE this movie. I can watch it over and over and over again. If you haven't seen it, I suggest go buying it at Target right now. I bought my copy for $8.00(US). Mhmm. Right price everyone.

Alright, well I need to go attempt to clean again. It's not going to happen.

Oh and PS. I'm working until the 30th folks. They're squeezing every last of my skill(z) before I leave. Because I'm that good. I guess I shouldn't be that proud of making sandwiches at a Quiznos Sub franchise, huh? It'd be better if it was a famous deli shop or something. Then I think I could say it with better pride. No offense to Quiznos Sub employees. Working there is not bad at all. I like working there actually. I just hate closing. For really real.

Goodnight.

I Think It's Long Past Due for a Good Entry...

However, I can't promise that this will be it. Haha.

It's true that I haven't written a good blog in a long time. However, I also can't say that I've done a good vlog entry on youtube either. But anyway, let me get down to business.

There's only 23 (?) days left for me until I move back to the Beantown and I cannot wait! I'm going there next week with Heather to simply visit the town and Matt. We're crashing at his place, which is really cool of him. We're going the 16th, 17th and 18th. Which again reminds me that I have to call the Realtor so we can visit my apartment and take more pics and measurements...

Anyway, I've simply been working, trying to get money. I've bought some of my books, which has put a real dent/stress in my financial area. Ugh, even buying online where I can find the cheapest books still have high prices. This semester's books are really expensive.

I also got a special fun thing the other day. Let me just say that my arms hurt from doing this whatchyamacallit. Haha.

Hmm, I went to Six Flags on the 29th with Rachel to see Rushmore, who, unfortunately didn't play, but we saw the Plain White T's. It rained for 5 hours when we were there and that made everyone leave. So after the rain stopped, we rode everything. Lots of times. No lines. Let me tell you, El Toro is the best ride at Six Flags. I even rode Kingda Ka, which was really fun, but if you factor the waiting time, its not all that cracked up to be (lucky for us, we only waited like 45 minutes? I think.)

Last Thursday I went to LBI w/ Heather and Rani. We took some funny pictures, and Lee let us into to see the Simpsons movie for free. That was really cool of him too. I love the Simpsons Movie.

I'm also still trying to finish reading Harry Potter. Because I'm also trying to read the Abs Diet. I still need to lose mad weight. I hate being fat. For serial.

I also went and did productive things today. I have to send out my pharmacy intern registration tomorrow b/c I need to get it before I go back to school! I know, I'm a slacker. But better late than never, right?

Anyhoo, I'm going to finish this b/c I don't know what else to write.

Goodbye. Wii.

Another Shorty

I'm off today. I slept in. It was wonderful. And now this is what I'm having for linner.

And I'm currently watching an intense episode of Boy Meets World.

And it's making me sad.

It's Friday the 13th

So I'm sitting here yelling at the TV, "oh my god, just step on them!" Haha. I'm watching "Inhabited" on myphl17. It's got goblins or whatever. But they're small and I don't think the people can see them. Because otherwise I would totally just step on them. Haha.

Ugh I have to work tomorrow, 8-4. These next two weeks are going to be fun. I have to open like everyday. So basically I have the most responsibility while Francis is on vacation. Ugh. Summer is almost dunzo. Almost done. Just a little longer. And then after that, the Q never again.

Just a short update for now...

I Need To Do Something With These Checks

Le sigh.

I'm in a blah mood right now.

I wish I could just stick to a diet plan so I could finally lose my fat ass.

I wish I had a pharmacy tech job back in high school of which I could have right now.

I wish I had more knowledge of my finance situations.

Blah. Enough wishing.

I still have my first paycheck, and now, my second paycheck. I need to cash my first paycheck and give that to my sister and mom for certain expenses. i.e. New York City and gas money. And then I'm going to just cash my second paycheck and just hold on to the money. Because my dad is so not supporting me of getting a Bank of America account. I'm just going to probably be one of those people who hide money under their mattress and mess up the census. So yeah I do not have ANY cash on me right now except like 3 dollars. Literally. I have 3 one dollar bills in my wallet. And lots of change. I'm going to Commerce Bank to the Penny Arcade and cash that in as well. I'm going to count it first so I can get a prize. Shit. I want a Bank of America CampusEdge Account.

I wish I had worked more. I wish I had money in the bank. I mean I do, but technically it's not mine. Ugh. I wish I had more financial responsibility.

Damn I need to stop dwelling on the past about my entire high school situation.
"I shouldn't have slacked off"
"I should have gotten a job"
"I should have joined track so I would actually lose weight"
"I shouldn't have slacked off" (yeah I know, I need to put it again)
"I should have been more open"

Whatever. Again, all I can do now is go on and try to make things better by working hard and giving an effort.

I want to make more youtube videos. I want to actually learn the lyrics of a lot of songs. I want to actually be able to play Ben Folds' songs by practicing. I want to actually start studying again. I need to buy my books.

I need to do a lot of stuff.

Goodnight.

A Weekend Of Camping

This weekend comprised of time spent at Bass River State Forest. We went camping and stayed in leantos. It was a blast!

Charcoal, grilling, smores, firepits, bathroom trips, absegami lake, beach, sun, tan, moths, dragonflies, flashlights, fire, bbq.

Just some tags of the highlights of the trip. It was so fun. Maybe I'll put pictures up. I need to find my camera... wherever it is.

Loves.

But now it's back to the grind. Working tomorrow at 8am so that means I need to sleep now. I'm tired. My legs were shaking in church, like it did during my chorus concert! So embarassing. Blah.

Goodnight.